If I Could Be There
by morgangirl11
Summary: Enchanted by the wedding they'd just attended, neither Castle nor Kate want the night to end. While they both know she's not ready for everything she could have, another phone call allows them to continue moving forward. This is a sequel to "If I Had Stayed," but you don't have to read that first. Takes place after "Til Death Do Us Part" (4x11).


**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I'll leave that to Marlowe & Co., since they've been doing just fine without me.**

* * *

It had been an undeniably beautiful night, from the traditional Catholic Mass to the happy couple's first dance to the frivolity that allowed everyone to relax into the romance that surrounded them. She was tired, but still hesitant to abandon the wonder that weddings had always held for her. If anything, this had been the most magical of any she'd attended, simply due to the man walking her out of the reception, and saying goodnight was going to be difficult. She didn't want to let him go.

Of course, she had nobody to blame but herself. He was waiting on the other side of her wall and wouldn't push until she invited him through the rubble.

One of his hands rested on the small of her back, the other opening the door of the cab that had pulled up to the curb. Always the gentleman, he'd offered the use of his car service, but she had reassured him that she was perfectly fine. Now she was frozen on the sidewalk, absorbing what she could of his presence, before turning her head with a shy smile.

"I had a great time tonight, Castle."

His eyes crinkled with his warm smile. "As did I."

They stayed quiet for a moment and she knew he wasn't any more eager to watch her leave than she was to do it. When he spoke again, she realized that she might have been wrong about him waiting so patiently; he seemed willing to push her a bit, even if he was visibly nervous as he did it.

"Would it be okay if I call you later? After we've both gotten home?

Given that he'd never needed permission to call her before, and with their long history of subtext, it wasn't difficult to decipher his actual question. While it had been over two months since their intimate conversation after the bank hostage situation, one that had allowed her to seek comfort in his voice when she wasn't ready to find it in his arms, it was something she thought of often. That night had taken her by surprise, her moans echoed by his while they were cloaked in the privacy of their own bedrooms. Neither had spoken about it since, no verbal acknowledgment of the line that had been crossed, no promise of what it meant for their future; even so, there had been a quiet change in their relationship and a small step forward.

Looking at him now, she saw that he was just as swept up in the enchantment of the wedding, wanting as much from the night as she'd be willing to give. And maybe it would be selfish of her to hide behind another phone call, but she justified it with the argument that she _was_ working hard to be better for him. She just needed a little more time. If this was the only way to have him in the meantime, she liked to think she could be forgiven, especially if he was the one offering.

She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the cheek before answering against his ear. "Looking forward to it."

* * *

As soon as she returned to her apartment, she checked the clock, deciding that she had time for a quick shower before he called. The idea of simply undressing and tucking herself into bed was nice enough, but a hot shower would be soothing, both physically and emotionally, and she couldn't resist.

With her clothes tossed aside, she stepped under the spray and let the water help wash away her doubts. When the heat from within matched that from the shower, she allowed her hands a moment to explore her own sensitive skin, a tease that satisfied nothing and intensified everything. Stopping before she risked missing his call, she opened her eyes to the steamy bathroom and hurried to finish up; she washed, rinsed, and toweled off quickly. After combing through her hair, she crawled under the covers, unconcerned about putting on pajamas that would only be in her way once his voice was there to warm her up.

A new wave of apprehension swept over her when she stopped to think about the forethought involved in this call. She could excuse the last one because it had happened spontaneously, but this one was planned. He had basically asked if he could get her off over the phone and she had accepted easily, her body humming with naked desire. Suddenly she felt like they were skipping over boundaries, her careful hesitance gone when he reached for her.

When she heard his ringtone, she startled, briefly considering the idea of ignoring it altogether and pretending to be asleep. Her hand hovered over the phone, until she swallowed the panic and answered.

"Hello?" She knew she'd done a poor job of disguising her uncertainty with that single word.

"Kate? Are you okay?" And of course he had noticed. "Listen, I know this isn't really something we do, so if you'd rather I just say goodnight and sweet dreams, I would understand."

Well, he was right that it wasn't something they do, but wasn't that the point? They were stumbling forward, and as messy as it was, it felt good to do it together.

"No, we can talk." Ugh, she still sounded ridiculous. She took a deep breath. "I mean, I want to talk."

She could almost feel him nodding into the phone. "Okay. In that case, would it be too much if I told you that I felt like the luckiest man in the room tonight? That you were my favorite 'plus one' and I hope we can do it again sometime."

"I think we can make that happen."

"Yeah?"

She hated that he sounded so surprised by that. After everything, even knowing the reason for his phone call, he still worried that they weren't headed in the same direction.

"Yes, Castle, I'd like to be your 'plus one' again. And maybe it wouldn't be such a last minute thing. Maybe it would be more obvious than that, the idea of us attending things together."

"In that case, I should probably stop avoiding all the party invitations that Paula throws my way."

They both laughed, and she found herself relaxing into her bed, her nerves fading when met by the familiar warmth of his voice. Calm and in sync, they fell silent for several seconds, sensing a turn in the conversation. She decided to speak up first, leading the safe hypothetical.

"So, if you accept one of those invitations, and if I could be there as your 'plus one,' what would the night be like? How would it be different from now if it were planned that way from the beginning? If you picked me up and took me home? If you knew how much I wanted to be there with you?"

He sighed contentedly and she was struck by the knowledge that he was happy enough just to hear her say that she wanted to be by his side. "Well, I know I'd have a difficult time keeping my hands off of you, and I mean that in the least creepy way possible. I just wouldn't be able to resist the chance to trail a fingertip down your bare arm, to brush my hand against your hip, to intertwine my fingers with yours."

It was so innocent, but his description was already affecting her. She let him continue while she closed her eyes and pictured every detail.

"When the time was right, I'd lead you to the dance floor. It would be similar to what happened tonight, but I'd be much less nervous and you'd allow yourself to relax into me, knowing that I was there to hold you for as long as you wanted. Our clasped hands would be pulled in toward our bodies, carefully intimate, and my other hand would be pressed into the subtle curve of your back, holding you close as we moved. Whenever we weren't whispering beautiful nonsense, you'd let your head rest against my shoulder, your breath teasing my neck with the promise of a kiss that's yet to come."

Her eyes stayed shut while she added to the narrative. "I wouldn't make you wait long. I think my lips would find the soft angle of your jaw, working my way up to your ear where I could offer you even more."

He hid his moan with a small cough, hurrying ahead. "Unfortunately, with our bodies so perfectly aligned, my enthusiastic response to your mouth would become embarrassingly clear. Part of me would feel like I should pull away and focus on the romance of the dance."

"Don't."

"What?"

"Don't pull away." _You're speaking hypothetically, Kate._ "I mean, you shouldn't have to pull away. I'd want you to hold me tightly against you, even in that moment. Especially in that moment. My response would be just as intense, even if you didn't know it yet."

It was easy enough to make that prediction, given her strong reaction to their current conversation about it, her fingers already wet with the evidence between her legs. Her mind wandered, imagining whether he was seated at his desk or lying in his bed, whether he was already free of his boxers and resting heavily against his own palm. So much of her wanted to know, but enough of her needed to hold back. That topic would be far too real and she clung to their thinly-veiled fantasy instead.

"Okay, then we'd continue to sway to the music, our hips pressed together to hide our secrets, our hands joined in a way that revealed nothing." He paused and she waited to see where he'd take them next. The dance could only go on so long. "Everything would be wonderful, a fairy tale, but eventually it would be time to take you home."

"But you wouldn't just drop me off, would you? You'd come inside."

"If you asked me to."

"I'd need you to."

She knew how lost he was when he didn't tease her about needing him, choosing instead to push her further. "Tell me what you'd need from me, Kate."

Two of her thin fingers were gripped tightly by her hungry body, suggesting exactly what she needed from him. She stilled them before carefully sliding them away, unwilling to let go so early in his story, wanting to hear more before she gasped his name and wished he were there.

"So much. There's just so much."

"I know you like to shower or bathe at the end of the day, so I'd quietly lead you there, still unable to let you go completely." She moaned at that, the realization that he was so aware of her habits. "I'd push you up against the bathroom wall and ask you if wanted to me to wait elsewhere, hoping that you would say no."

"No. No, I wouldn't want you to wait elsewhere. I'd want you with me."

"Would you tell me that?"

She wasn't sure, even within a daydream. "I'm so bad at the words, Castle. But I'd take your hand and tug you inside, turning on the shower and hoping you understood."

"I think I'd catch on. And I'd help us out of our clothes, the steam filling the small room as I carefully unzipped your dress and kissed my way along each newly-exposed part of your body. You'd hurry me along, just as impatient as you are at the precinct, and I'd let you push me toward the shower."

"It's been so long." Her hand was moving again, gently gliding over her clit, keeping the pressure light as she pictured what it would have been like to have him in the shower a short while ago.

"For me, too. But the wait would be worth it, being able to see the way the water coasts over your curves, the way it plays against your neck when you let your head fall back into the spray. Seeing you so relaxed would have me torn between wanting to leave you alone and wanting to press myself against you so that I could absorb that tranquility. I'd compromise, reaching for your shampoo and pouring it into my hand so that I could wash your hair for you."

Fuck. How did _that _idea completely mesmerize her? It was so simple, but she knew in that moment that it had to happen someday.

Without a word from her, he kept talking. "I can't properly explain how affected I'd be by having my hands in your hair, massaging your scalp, and watching the trail of bubbles fall down your back. Once you'd rinsed, I'd do it all over again with your conditioner, your soft hair threaded between my fingers. This time, I'd turn you around and help you rinse it out, even as I leaned in to kiss you, unable to resist any longer."

"Yes. Kissing you under the stream of the shower, feeling you press against me just as you had on the dance floor…it would be perfect."

"Eventually I'd pull away, ready to help you wash the rest of your body. You wouldn't have to do a thing, just let me rub the body wash into your skin, my hands reading every subtle story along the way. There would be the more expected observations; I'd feel the way your nipples pebbled in response to my touch and the way your hips naturally seek contact with something solid and fulfilling. But there'd be so much more than that. A sprinkle of goose bumps across your abdomen. The curling of your fingers. A pink flush on your chest that would be surprisingly separate from anything caused by the heat of the shower."

Her body was aching for more, but she kept control, choosing to run her hand over her body as he detailed his exploration of her. There was no doubt that he was going describe a lot more than touching her and she felt her body clench wantonly in preparation.

"As I moved lower, I'd drop to my knees in front of you, watching as the water carried away the bubbles and left you wet and wanting. I'd nudge your legs apart, then slide my hands around your hips so that I could hold you still while I got my first taste of you."

She sighed with some combination of need and regret. "That first taste would tell you everything."

"Everything about what?"

"How much I want you."

It was his turn to sigh. "When you're ready, Kate. No sooner than that."

"I know. But please keep talking. Tell me about it."

She heard him shuffling around, possibly changing positions, and she moved her hand back down to her center, softly stroking the slick and swollen skin.

"My mouth would be open against you, my tongue tracing meaningless patterns until I give in and take your clit between my lips, guided by the moans made louder by the acoustics of the shower. One of my hands would slip between your legs and I'd ease two fingers deep inside you, pulling my head away just long enough to watch your reaction to the intrusion."

Pushing three of her own fingers inside her, she spoke up on a gasp. "It would feel so tight, so amazing. I'm not sure I could keep from moving."

"Moving how?"

"Um, my legs. Or my hips." _Just fucking say it._ "I'd probably start riding your fingers, desperate for that pressure inside me. And I'd put my hand on the back of your head to guide you forward, wanting you to suck on me until I come."

His long groan made her worry that he would finish too soon, when she wanted more from him before they had to pretend that nothing had happened. Fortunately, he seemed to catch himself and started talking again.

"You have no idea how much I want to make you come like that. The way your body would grip my fingers even as I kept them pumping inside you. A new wave of your scent matching the additional flavor on my tongue from lapping hungrily at your weeping body. I'd draw it out as long as I could for you, encouraged by the way you'd tremble at my touch."

She jerked her own hand away, too close to the orgasm he'd just described. Not that she couldn't have more than one, but she knew it would be worth it to hold out for as long as he kept the story going. She let her fingernails tease the insides of her thighs, delighting at the sensitivity of her skin even as he continued speaking.

"I'd carefully stand back up and hold you close to me before turning off the shower and helping both of us out from the cloud of steam. We'd dry off quickly, then move to your bed where I could ease you onto your back and hold myself over you as we kissed again. I'd make sure you were ready before I pushed forward, so eager to feel you around me."

"Wait, Castle. We can't-I mean, not yet."

"You want to stop?"

"No! God, no. I just..." She trailed off, really not sure of how much she could say. She felt like she'd already gotten bolder and she was still relaxed in the warmth of his voice, but how much more could she let go?

As always, he was there to encourage her. "Just tell me what you want next. It's your story, too."

"I don't want to be the one on my back. I want you to lie down so that I can crawl between your legs, just like you did for me. I want you in my mouth."

"Fuck, Kate." He was moving again, probably restraining himself as much as she had been doing throughout the conversation. "Okay, then I'd be on my back. Do you want to describe this part?"

"I'm not sure how."

His smile managed to come through in his words. "That's why I'm here to help. So, would you take me into your mouth right away or would you touch me first?"

"I'd touch you. I'd wrap my hand around you and start stroking up and down, loving how heavy and solid you'd feel against my palm."

"Seeing your fingers curled around me like that would be incredible. Would you do anything else?"

"Um, I think I'd twist my hand a bit as I tightened my grip, watching closely for your reaction." She hesitated again, but took a deep breath. "And then I wouldn't be able to keep myself from rubbing my thumb over your tip, picking up the moisture there and bringing it to my mouth."

This time, she wasn't surprised at all to hear him moan and was a little proud of herself. The strain in his voice was obvious when he spoke again. "How much longer would I have to wait to feel your lips around me?"

"Is that what you would want?"

"Yes, Kate, please."

"Tell me."

"But I don't want to push you."

Now it was time to encourage him. "This was my idea, remember? I want this. And I know you've imagined it before, so tell me what you'd want me to do."

"I'd want your entire mouth on me, your lips and tongue, so perfectly hot and wet. I'd want you to keep your hand around me, twisting and stroking as your head bobs up and down, your long hair tickling my body as you moved. I could only hope that you'd hum with enthusiasm, letting me feel the vibrations when you took me deep inside your mouth, swallowing against me."

"Of course I would."

"It wouldn't be the time for it, and maybe I shouldn't even say this now, but I know I'd be thinking about how much I'd want you to make me come like that someday. Your mouth working over me while I try not to thrust my hips toward you. Your dark eyes meeting mine when you pull back to suck on my tip, silently giving me permission to let go when you slide back down. Just knowing that you'd want that…it would push me over the edge."

"But it wouldn't be the time for that?"

"No. I'd put my hand on your shoulder and stop you before it could get that far. Then I'd find your hand and bring you back over my body, needing to kiss you. Needing to find whatever hint of myself was hidden on your tongue."

Her hand was busy again, his descriptions giving her no other choice. She did her best to keep her fingers slow and gentle, ready for whatever he'd say next. She knew they were almost done, so she asked one more brave question.

"Would you want me to be on top?"

"Yes."

"Then talk me through it. Give me every detail. Tell me what it would be like for both of us and don't stop. Please, just don't stop."

Knowing that he'd do as she asked, she put her phone on speaker and set it down on the bed. Then she rolled onto her stomach and tucked one arm beneath her body, the hand between her legs in position for her to grind against it while he spoke. She let herself close her eyes and picture herself straddling him, her free hand gripping the sheets while she waited.

"You'd already be pressed against me, both of us having trouble pulling away from the kiss long enough for anything else to happen. But then you'd shift your hips and open yourself up to me so that I could feel your heat, the wetness making it so easy for you to slide against my shaft. I'd finally let you go, just long enough for you to sit up and take me in your hand, holding me still until you could lower yourself and cause us both to get completely lost for a moment."

"I'm not sure I could ever describe what it would feel like to be buried inside you like that. To feel your muscles holding me so intimately, as if your body needed me, wanted to feel everything I can give it. You would start to rock over me, cautiously at first, but then you'd find a rhythm that worked for you, an angle that allowed me to fill you up and stroke where you needed it most."

He had the amazing ability to make it all about her, even while he had to be getting himself off on the other end of the phone. She didn't bother containing her increasing moans, the occasional gasps as her hips pushed her clit against her own hand. She had rarely been so aroused, and it definitely hadn't happened since their last phone call. Just a few more words from him and she'd fall apart.

"Eventually I'd be able to see your control slipping and I'd move my hands to your hips to help you move, bracketing your waist and guiding you over me. Part of me would be tempted to close my eyes and listen to the sounds our bodies would make together, wet and primal, but I'd force them to stay open as you got closer to the edge, afraid to miss any second of it."

"Being able to watch you like that, seeing your eyes lose focus as you let yourself feel everything you usually contain so carefully, it would be the most incredible thing. You'd be so fucking beautiful, Kate. So fucking beautiful. I want you to come for me."

So she did.

There was no doubt he caught his name as it poured from her lips, the volume barely dulled by the pillow into which she had planned to scream. She couldn't care about what he heard, not when wave after wave coursed through her, the shaking uncontrollable. Her entire body had tensed, but somehow she kept thrusting into the bed, prolonging the sensations and giving her more reason to cry out into the otherwise empty room.

It was only when she finally quieted, her heart still pounding against the mattress, that she picked up the noises coming from the phone. Apparently reassured by her own willingness to stop hiding what she had been doing, he was letting himself go just as loudly. She leaned closer to her phone and hurried to help him in those final seconds, her recovery inhibiting her ability to censor anything she wanted to say.

"Please, Castle. God, please come for me, too. Let me hear you."

She could tell his orgasm was as intense as hers had been, his soothing voice replaced by something that had surrendered to need. The groaning of her name echoed long after it had left his mouth and she knew she wouldn't be complete until she was able to hold him while he made that same perfect sound.

Neither of them had any interest in speaking up, not while they could simply listen to the other's deep breaths, so they just lay there in the quiet. It wasn't until hours later, the sunrise still far from threatening the darkness, that she realized she had fallen asleep at the end of their call, never getting the chance to say goodbye. She was struck with the worry that she had left him alone, as if he hadn't just given her another amazing gift. Reaching for the phone that still rested next to her naked body, she saw that there was a single text message awaiting her.

_You're beautiful even when I'm not close enough to see you. Til next time…_

* * *

A/N: Thank you, as always, for taking the time to read my little stories.


End file.
